Give me a Problem by Tim Seston

Ned

Give me a problem.  I’ll find solutions
Tell me your story.  I’ll craft conclusions
Just like a puzzle put things together
Write out your novel and bind it with leather

I was talking with my friend out in the fields
She was saying things she thought she’d never dare
Every phrase she spoke gave me more I could extract
The sentences I wanted her to share.

You see I have this gift. I am smarter than you all.
I know so many things you’ll never know
Every single piece of information that I gain
Is more for me to use to slay a foe.

Give me a problem.  I’ll find solutions
Tell me your story.  I’ll craft conclusions
Just like a puzzle put things together
Write out your novel and bind it with leather

It’s very clear to me, that I should take the lead
The rest of you should follow from behind
When you know so very much there’s a burden that you carry
Don’t you worry for I never mind.

Ned dances on stage continuing with the same pompous attitude

Eric (The Evil British Counselor) enters from the wing, mysteriously freezes Ned in
the middle of his dance, and finishes the song.

Eric:        

Oh but when you think you know it all
A surprise comes from the wing
And then you learn the most important lesson
You don’t know anything

Give me a problem.  I’ll find solutions
Tell me your story.  I’ll craft conclusions
Just like a puzzle put things together
Write out your novel and bind it with leather
Give Me a Problem
Who I Am
Once in a Lifetime

We all know people in our lives that are a little full
of themselves.  I had fun writing this song and
spelling out the inner thoughts of someone who
has no filter and thinks they are above everyone
else.  

The actor who played Ned  n the original
production had played Willie Wonka in a previous
year.  He was one of our oldest campers in the
show and this song was his opportunity to give
an encore performance.  He really hammed it up
and had a great time with the final dance routine.